Embracing Transitions: Overcoming Setbacks and Building Resilience

Ever found yourself struggling with the fast-paced transition from summer to the school season? Join me on this transformative journey where I share personal experiences from my early career as a career coach, illustrating how daunting setbacks and unexpected changes can become opportunities for growth. Whether you're balancing multiple roles or facing new challenges, this episode provides valuable insights on embracing opportunities despite fears and self-doubt. You'll gain practical advice on navigating life's curveballs and emerging more resilient and confident.

We emphasize the importance of flexibility and adaptability in goal-setting, highlighting that setbacks are natural, and it's the action plan that may need adjustments. From the value of a strong support system to breaking down goals into manageable steps, discover the courage to ask for help and seek advice from those who've faced similar challenges. The episode concludes with a powerful reminder to stay open to learning and growth, empowered by a scriptural reference from Isaiah 40:31 about renewed strength and perseverance. Don't miss out on this empowering discussion that encourages you to embrace your inner strength and embark on your own transformative journey through our Empower Her program and my book MAMI on a Mission.

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Chapters

• 0:04 Overcoming Setbacks and Bouncing Back
• 17:24 Navigating Setbacks and Moving Forward
• 24:52 Empower Her Program and Transformative Journey

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

Welcome to the Mommy on a Mission podcast.

Speaker 1: 0:07

I'm Mariana, your host and the number one bestselling author of Mommy on a Mission a guide towards healing self-discovery and walking in confidence. As a dedicated life coach, wife, mom yaya and, most importantly, daughter of the king, I am passionate about empowering multifaceted women just like you. In each episode, we dive deep into transformative topics that help you reignite your passion and purpose. My unique approach is designed to help you overcome the fear of external expectations and create the space and time you need for both increased job satisfaction and personal growth. Join me on this journey of self-discovery and empowerment as we explore practical strategies, inspiring stories and actionable insights. Together, we'll navigate the complexities of life and emerge stronger, more confident and truly aligned with our deepest desires. Welcome to the Mom on a Mission podcast, your go-to resource for living a more purposeful and fulfilling life. So grab your taza of coffee and let's talk. Good morning, hello, amiga, and welcome to another episode of Mommy on Mission podcast, the podcast that empowers Latina women and all women to reach their impossible goals, one dream at a time. I'm your host, mariana, and I am so glad to have you join me this Saturday morning. Before we get started, I just want to give a shout out. This episode is sponsored by the Empower Her program, a 12-week transformative journey designed just for you, the multifaceted woman who wants to reignite her passion and purpose, to overcome the fear of external expectations and create the space and time you need for increased job satisfaction and personal fulfillment.

Speaker 1: 2:09

Listen, I don't know about you, amiga, but I know that this summer just flew on by. I mean, I really do feel like the kids just got out of school and now it's time to go back to the school, close shopping, buying all the school supplies and all that. And my fourth child, which is my second daughter, is going to be a sophomore this year and my baby is going to be a sixth grader. It's like well, because I've got three adult children who already are out the house. But now it's like these are my last two that are school age kids and it'll be two years before we know it and Araceli will be graduating high school and then Xavier will be going into high school. And it's like, am I ready? Am I ready to be an empty nester? I don't know, but when it does happen, I guess I don't know what my husband and I are going to do with each other. But we'll see, we'll see, we'll see, we'll see. But yeah, I mean we're going to do with each other. But we'll see, we'll see, we'll see, we'll see. But yeah, I mean we're going to go back to that crazy routine again where we're Ubering the kids all over the place and my husband and I pulling out our calendars on Sunday just to coordinate the week ahead.

Speaker 1: 3:39

So it gets just as busy for us as well, right, I mean for all of us, I mean. And if you're a single mom, I mean I can only imagine. But maybe you don't even have children and you're just, you know, going back to school. You had the summer to take a break and now you're having to find a whole new routine if you're going back to school or if you're now going to become a full time. You know, you know job, you know working a job and stuff. But it's crazy, right, because it's almost like for everyone, summer is a moment to kind of just pause, reflect and enjoy for a lot of us, and that's what we're going to kind of talk about today. We're going to talk a little bit about how to bounce back from setbacks, because we all have a plan in our mind of how we want things to go. And then boom, something happens. And then we're just like, oh my God, now it's taking me back a little bit, right, but we all have those moments, right, where curve balls are just thrown at us and it just came out of nowhere. But what we do next is what truly matters. So I want you to picture this podcast as a conversation between friends and allowing me to help coach you and show you how to navigate when things get a little tricky. So, as always, I always like to use myself, because I am the one that wants to. Well, I've gone through a lot. I'm 50 years old, so I've been through some stuff, and so that's why I like to kind of like share my own personal story, because I think a lot of you will be able to resonate with it. So I remember this time.

Speaker 1: 5:35

So it was when I first got into my career as a career coach. I was very green in the area. I knew that I wanted to work helping people. So whenever I got interviewed for my very first official coaching position, I knew exactly what they were looking for and I was willing to just dive deep into it. You know, just do whatever I needed to do. And I want to say, nine months into that position, I was offered a full-time position to be a they used to call them case well, it's case manager, but they changed the name during that time to coaches, and so I remember having to work in this program and the next thing, you know, I was offered the position of program coordinator for that specific position and I'm like I just didn't feel like I had the experience for that position and I kind of like froze, because I was like, wait a minute, this is my first time in this role like a promotion into a very new position, and I just had some doubts about it.

Speaker 1: 7:10

I didn't know if I was going to be able to do the work or what. So I was like I don't know, I just don't know if I can do this. And so, instead of embracing the opportunity, like I said, I shut down and I allowed my fear, my lack of experience, to hold me back. I wasn't asking about if there was going to be any training, I wasn't seeking advice from my supervisor about what qualities they saw in me. I just simply let my fear dictate my actions. But then I did just this. I had to pause a minute, I had to pray about it and decided to pivot my strategy. So, instead of jumping the gun and refusing or saying no, I asked for the training I needed. I inquired more about the role and, to my surprise, my supervisor saw potential in areas I hadn't even considered.

Speaker 1: 8:23

How often do we do that when we just allow for our minds to just race and we want to already provide an answer because we get scared. We can't, we shouldn't anyways, right, because we'll miss a lot of great opportunities? So let's talk about you. When you face a setback, right, what do you do? How do you handle it? Well, today I am going to provide you a few tips and tricks to help you bounce back. So grab your cafecito, a pen and paper and did was I had to, first of all, take a deep breath, calm myself down and pause.

Speaker 1: 9:28

I had to pause and reflect what we do oftentimes when things happen or when there's a setback or maybe it's not just about this promotion, maybe you know you had intentions to like. We just happened to have Hurricane Beryl come through here and everybody has money for their rent. Well, now you go around and or their lease or or their mortgage, what have you, I know, up and down my neighborhood fences are all down and so now they're having to use money that they had perhaps been saving to now fix and repair, and that's a setback. And oftentimes, when things like that happen, when they're out of our control, we often want to just blame. We blame everything, we blame the other person or we blame the situation. We just always want to put blame onto things, but instead what we should be doing is gaining a little bit of a deeper understanding of what transpired, like what happened.

Speaker 1: 10:41

What could I have done differently? And, as I mentioned before, one of the most powerful tools that I use in moments like that. So I'll talk a lot about journaling, because I really do believe it's an effective tool when we can, because it allows us to not say anything. We can write down our thoughts Because, remember last week I said, even if you don't know what to put in your journal I mean, if all you need to put is shit you know, well then put shit or damn whatever you know but getting those emotions onto paper and then allowing you to read what you're writing, to process your emotions or identify any patterns or triggers that led to the situation. Now, of course, vero was out of everyone's control. But there are situations where you think things are going to go a certain way and then boom, something happens right. Boom, something happens right. So ask yourself these questions such as what went well and what could I have done differently. Those questions can help provide valuable insights.

Speaker 1: 11:52

Some people like to use reflection apps. I have never used one of those. I have used meditation apps, like where they have the music and then you've got somebody's voice just kind of like talking through, and that's helped me in some occasions. But, quite honestly, I personally, whenever I want to have a moment to just kind of reflect, I am a water person, and what I mean by that is I'm a Pisces and so I gravitate a lot to water person, and what I mean by that is I'm a Pisces and so I gravitate a lot to water. So I have to go to a quiet place where there's either a pond, a lake, a beach, something, so that I can just kind of like see the calmness of the water and just kind of like allow myself to just enjoy that moment. And then I start to reflect, and then I start to write down things that I'm thinking about and asking myself what could I have done differently? What did go well?

Speaker 1: 12:53

As a matter of fact, I remember this week I was actually speaking with a client and she was talking to me about how, you know, she was coming out of a relationship that wasn't good for her and she was just crying and all she kept pointing out was all of the negative things about the situation. So then I allowed her to get it all out. And then I spoke to her and I asked her. I said, ok, but what have you been doing? Let's hear what you're saying to me. You've been going to therapy. You've been, you know, taking action as far as getting away from the situation. You started to realize that it's time You're creating a plan of action. So I wanted to give her that space to share what she was feeling, but also be that voice to remind her of what she was doing, that was good, what was going good for her, and to have her realize that she's actually doing the work and that really helped her become a little bit more grounded.

Speaker 1: 14:05

Another thing we want to do is pray and meditate. You know, ground yourself spiritually or mentally to cope with the challenges. I am a Christian. I'm not ever going to, you know, deny my Christianity. I am a believer in God and so I do pray, but you can pray and meditate at the same time, because it's meditation is a form of just silencing your mind and then creating this space for inner peace and clarity. And then creating this space for inner peace and clarity allowing you to see the bigger picture. And there are also things that you can do. You can just, you know, we did that visualization technique last week, right, where we're just sitting quietly and we're visualizing the goals and things that we want to accomplish. Well, we can do the same thing also for the things that went wrong and how we can just, you know, take a moment, we're going to pray, we're going to meditate, we're going to clear our space in our minds and then just kind of see how we can do things differently and how it can look right. So there there are things that you can do.

Speaker 1: 15:28

Um, like I said, there's guided meditation, which I have used. Guided meditation where it just kind of helps you relax, especially if you've never practiced that. Some people do yoga. I used to do yoga and I used to love doing yoga, because there it focuses on your breathing techniques, but it allows you to clear your mind and just be present in the moment, and you want to be able to be present in the moment to reduce your stress. Trust me, these are all things that I've used and I continue to use. Trust me, these are all things that I've used and I continue to use.

Speaker 1: 16:01

And then we want to pivot. Right, we want to pivot. So what that means is we've paused, we're praying about it and now it's time to change directions. So, when it comes to pivoting your strategy, flexibility is key when navigating obstacles. Being open to changing your approach can turn setbacks into opportunities for growth.

Speaker 1: 16:26

One of the things that we do at work, whenever we are facing a new challenge, we consider conducting what's called a SWOT analysis. What's called a SWOT analysis? That's S-W-O-T, which is strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats, and what we do with that is it evaluates our current situation to identify areas where we can improve. So what are some of the strengths that you have? What are some weaknesses about the new opportunities? What are some opportunities about? You know the the new opportunities, uh, what are some opportunities that you can take and what is threatening the whole situation? When you have all of that written out and it's clear and it's before you. Um, it's easier for you to be able to navigate those things and to see your true you know to, to see your potential on how to switch it up.

Speaker 1: 17:24

And remember, whenever we're setting goals or whenever we're doing things, you have to be flexible. Just because it's not working out, and I always say this when it comes to like weight loss, you go to the gym and the trainer will, for the most part, use the same type of exercise routine or whatever to people, but not taking into consideration that hormones, their body, if they're going through issues like to modify that, and so I want you to know that these are all tools, so you modify how you do certain things so that it can fit the expectation of what you're looking for. So don't feel like, just because you write things, it's got to be like that and it's got to be set in stone. No, allow yourself some flexibility because it's like I said before, it's not the goal that changes, it's the plan of action that will change. The goal is going to still be the goal. It's just how you get to that goal is what's going to change.

Speaker 1: 18:29

Okay, and remember, anytime you're going through something, it's not going to be easy. I wish you know. Sometimes it can be, but I wish things could just be straight and narrow. But it's not. It really isn't. Life is messy. Life is messy. Healing is messy. Whenever you're trying to heal, because you've got to dish out the dirt, you've got to expose it all, you've got to, like, vomit it all up, right, and that's messy, but you've got to get that out of you. Well, same thing with when you're trying to reach your goals or when you've got a setback. It's messy, it's ugly. We don't like it, but we have to work through it and that's how we're going to grow Again.

Speaker 1: 19:15

You know I've said this time and time again I can't tell you enough how important it is to have a support system, a support network, wherever or whenever. That is just to ask somebody for advice. Now, don't go asking just anybody for advice, but you've got to really ask a person who's gone through something similar to you, a person who's gone through something similar to you, that's maybe, let's say, in that job position, that you want someone. How did you get there? You know, how did you navigate through this? Whatever your situation is, find someone that's going to be able to provide you good advice, that would be willing to even mentor you through some things. Sometimes we can go to our friends before we can go to our family, so just have. But whatever and whoever you use, make sure that they are someone who can truly, truly help navigate you through those setbacks. And again, just because you go out and ask for help, that's not a sign of weakness. You're not going to be a burden on someone just for asking a question or asking for help.

Speaker 1: 20:43

I think us mujeres, we have that tendency that we don't ever want to ask for help. We always want to do everything ourselves, like we got to be really machotas and stuff. And the truth is, I've learned a long time ago that I can't do everything by myself. I need help and I ask for help. I used to be embarrassed to ask for help. Now I'm the first person I'll be like hey, I need some help here. Because you learn you use someone else's strengths for that area where you're weakened in order to build it up so that it can become your strength. So there's nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing wrong with that at all.

Speaker 1: 21:30

Lastly, take action. Okay, once you've gathered your thoughts, your resources, it's time to take the first step forward. It doesn't have to be perfect, but the important thing is to keep moving, breaking your goals down into smaller ones, manageable ones, so that it can make the process less overwhelming. I've said that time and time and time again Don't overwhelm yourself, don't try to take on everything at one time. Break it down, delegate, delegate it to someone who has that area of expertise or what have you. I tell you. I tell you, I used to be that person that I felt like I needed to do it all, like if I didn't do it, then it wasn't getting done right and I had to trust that person that I felt like I needed to do it all. Like if I didn't do it, no one, then it wasn't getting done right and I had to trust that other people had the ability to do it better than I could.

Speaker 1: 22:30

And then for allowing myself to be taught. I always want to see myself as coachable and teachable, because I know that I can continue to learn. I know that there's still opportunity for me to learn, to grow, not to just serve as someone that can help, guide and teach, but also to receive information, because things change all the time. There are new approaches, new techniques to everything, and so I've got to have an open mind to be able to also receive that. Yes, there's going to be opportunity into where someone else is going to come ask me for my area of expertise, and I'm going to be able to provide them that information, but at the same time, I need to be that person too where I can receive just as well. So those are the tips that I have for you today, amiga. So I'm going to kind of like go back real quick and just kind of once again go over those points.

Speaker 1: 23:31

And that's number one pause and reflect. Number two pray or meditate. Number three pivot your strategy. Number four seek support. And number five take action.

Speaker 1: 23:48

Remember setbacks are not the end. They're just a chapter in your story. Embrace them, learn from them and use them as a stepping stone into I'm sorry, stepping stones to your success. And before we wrap up, I want to leave you with the scripture that I think perfectly complements today's topic, and that's Isaiah 40, 31 that says but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint. I just love that one. Let this be a reminder that, with hope and faith, you have the strength to overcome any setback. So I mean, our time has ended for today.

Speaker 1: 24:42

I want to just say thank you so much for joining me today and if you found this episode helpful, please share it with a friend who might need a little encouragement.

Speaker 1: 24:52

And don't forget to check out the Empower Her program to start your own transformative journey. Until next time, keep pushing forward and stay resilient. Adios, thank you for tuning in to the Mommy on a Mission podcast. If you found today's episode inspiring, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share it with your amigas. And, before you go, if you're looking to dive deeper into healing, self-discovery and walking in confidence, be sure to grab a copy of my book Mommy on a Mission a guide towards healing, self-discovery and walking in confidence, available now on Amazon. Stay connected with me on social media. Follow us on Instagram at Mommy on a Mission Podcast, and on Facebook at Mommy on a Mission. If you're considering working with a coach, but aren't sure if you're ready, send me a DM and I will send you a free gift to help you get started on your journey. Until next Saturday, keep shining and remember the tower is within you. Adios, amigas.