God, Amigas & Growth: Choosing the Right Relationships

Sisterhood is a divine gift that requires discernment to know which relationships are meant for a season and which are lifelong connections. We explore how godly friendships sharpen us while helping us recognize when relationships are pulling us away from our purpose.

• Personal journey through domestic violence revealed the critical importance of supportive friendships
• Biblical women like Mary, Elizabeth, Deborah and Esther demonstrate the power of collaboration over competition
• The woman at the well shows how isolation affects us and the difference between feeling alone versus lonely
• Addressing the cultural tendency toward gossip (chisme) and how it damages sisterhood
• Learning to celebrate other women's success instead of feeling threatened by it
• God as our ultimate friend who calls us by name and sees us in our struggles
• Invitation to join Amiga Ready to Read Bible study on Wednesdays at 7:30 pm CST

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Sisterhood and Relationships
• 6:50 Discernment in Seasonal Friendships
• 12:44 Domestic Violence and Support Systems
• 22:04 Collaboration vs. Competition Among Women
• 29:04 Biblical Examples of Godly Friendships
• 42:16 Breaking the Cycle of Gossip
• 52:40 God as Our Ultimate Friend
• 58:17 Closing Prayer and Call to Action

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey, amiga, welcome back to another episode of Mommy on a Mission. Today we are going to explore the power of relationships, sisterhood, and why God is our ultimate friend. We're also going to talk about discernment and friendships, how iron sharpens iron and why we should collaborate instead of compete. Plus, we're going to take a look at some incredible women of the Bible who can teach us about godly friendships. So grab your cafecito, get comfortable and let's get into it. Welcome to the Mommy on a Mission podcast.

Speaker 1: 0:40

I'm Mariana, your host and the number one bestselling author of Mommy on a Mission a guide towards healing, self-discovery and walking in confidence. As a dedicated life coach, wife, mom yaya and, most importantly, daughter of the king, I am passionate about empowering multifaceted women just like you. In each episode, we dive deep into transformative topics that help you reignite your passion and purpose. My unique approach is designed to help you overcome the fear of external expectations and create the space and time you need for both increased job satisfaction and personal growth. Join me on this journey of self-discovery and empowerment, as we explore practical strategies, inspiring stories and actionable insights. Together, we'll navigate the complexities of life and emerge stronger, more confident and truly aligned with our deepest desires. Welcome to the Mom in a Mission podcast, your go-to resource for living a more purposeful and fulfilling life. So grab your tazza cafe y vamos a platicar.

Speaker 1: 1:51

Okay so, sisterhood is a gift, but not every relationship is meant to go with us into every season of life. That's where discernment comes in. Over the years, I have been blessed with a few lifelong friends, women who have stood by me through both the good and the bad, but I've also had friendships that were meant for just a season serving a purpose in my life before shifting into something different. Distance, life changes and evolving roles have played a part in these transitions and, let's be honest, there have been people who appear to have my best interest at heart, but through prayer and discernment, god showed me otherwise, and I know I have probably fallen into one of more of these categories for others as well, but I'm reminded of Proverbs 21, 17,. That tells us that as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. So, true, sisterhood helps us grow, challenges us and lifts us up when we're weak, but we also need wisdom to recognize when a relationship is pulling us away from our purpose. And so, with all that being said, you know there have been women in my life that you know that were really, truly there for me, and I've given this example time and time again. So, like in Oklahoma City, for instance, when I was there and I had just turned 30, it was in 2004, when I had moved there and I was going through a really rough patch.

Speaker 1: 3:38

So, if you're new here, a little bit about my story was I was married for eight years with a man, and over the course of the last five years of that marriage, it became an abusive relationship. Now, I'm not going to say that I wasn't part of that problem, because I was not in the sense that I deserved what I got, but at the same time, we all play a role in some aspect of a relationship, right, and so there was a season for that marriage as well, and so God was able to open up doors, in the sense that he revealed to me that not only did I get cheated on on one occasion, but on multiple occasions, and then you want to put the abuse on top of that, yeah, so it was time to end. However, I did have friendships through the course of that marriage, uh, from the time that I was living in San Antonio to the time I was living in Oklahoma city and I did have friendships that were there for me, that encouraged me, that were, that were by my side through it all. But I will say this that when you are a victim of domestic violence and you're going through it in that moment, if you don't understand the stages of domestic violence, then those that are in your life will not always understand and they will fall off because they're going to hear you repeat yourself over and over and over again. And in a more clear-headed mind, a more logical mind, the question is well, why don't you just leave? Well, why don't you just leave? And if you know anything of domestic violence, that's not an easy, there's no easy reply to that answer, because in some instances, by saying that and that person leaves, it could lead to their death.

Speaker 1: 5:40

So it requires a lot of care, a lot of planning, a lot of support. And, yes, people are going to get tired of hearing the same story over and over and over again. I know because I was that person who would tell them over and over again and so they would avoid me because they didn't want to hear it anymore. They were tired of telling me over and over and over to leave and I wouldn't. And that's just because, one, I wasn't quite ready yet and number two, I needed to have a plan of action in order to do that. The final straw not, I think, because I know the final straw of that came when I moved to Oklahoma City.

Speaker 1: 6:29

Now, mind you, I had friends here in Texas. I had a best friend and, to put it to you this way, my best friend didn't even know what I was going through and I was afraid to lose her, so I didn't want to share with her what I was going through. And I was afraid to lose her, so I didn't want to share with her what I was going through. So I would lie to her and tell her that everything was fine, everything was perfect, and it wasn't until later that she realized what I was going through. And, yes, she was there for me for a lot, for a lot during that time that I finally did leave, during that time that I finally did leave.

Speaker 1: 7:08

But the others you know that were in my life. Some were in it, some took advantage of the situation, some took advantage of how I was feeling, and you're going to find that right, and you're also going to find people that assume that everything is hunky dory right and then they're going to be jealous of you. I know for myself. I have seen Things that appeared perfect, that appeared like everything was going well, and I had my assumptions. But we never know what goes on behind closed doors, like in my case. No one really knew that I was going through a domestic violence situation. No one knew that I was getting you know hurt domestic violence situation. No one knew that I was getting you know um, hurt, um. So it was really hard to put up that face, um, of having everybody believe. So of course there was envy. Oh, mariana has such a perfect marriage. Oh my God, they look so happy together. Oh my God, I wish I had this, or I wish I had that, and not even knowing what I was going through, right, and then, over time, there was some envy going on, and then some of those women were the ones that were sleeping with him. So there's that.

Speaker 1: 8:13

But the women in Oklahoma City, the ones that were in my life for a season, are the ones that God used to provide me the strength that I needed in order for me to be able to leave that situation. They would pray for me, they supported me. They, you know, helped with groceries, they helped with my children, you know, and they were just a big pillar for me, a big pillar of strength for me during that time. But I knew that there was going to be a time that I had to move away. I had to come back to Texas, because this is where my family was, and this is when I really finally needed to face up to some things that was happening and truly, truly get my life to where I needed it to get to, and so I needed my family support.

Speaker 1: 9:03

And so I'm saying all of this to say that those women, I love them dearly, but they have moved on. Not that there's anything wrong with us, but whenever we see each other, it's like we pick up right where we left off. But those women were in my life for a season. They served a purpose in my life to help me to move forward and to continue on the path that God had me on or was having me on, right. And so, even today, even now, over the years, as we evolve as women, as we start to change, because you should be changing, you're growing, you're learning things, you're starting to make some adjustments. The older you get the wiser you get.

Speaker 1: 9:53

I feel in some cases some people, it's taking them a little bit longer than it needs to be, but for the most part, we should be growing and we should be changing, and with that change is going to come a new set of people into your life, because God is going to use other people in your life to pour into you and again, it could be for a season or it could be for the long haul. And so, like I said, I have very few women from my past and when I say my past I'm talking about childhood past. There's three women that are still in my life from all of it, from the very beginning to currently, and those are the women that I like to close, that I like to have close to me, because they are praying women. They are women who know me from before Christ to now with Christ. They are women that continue to support me, support my mission, that encourage me to continue to move on, and we're there for each other because we all have gone through some things, so we are able to share that with one another and then we're able to help each other move forward, and there's nothing about, there's no jealousy, there's nothing. It's not about competition. It's about collaboration. It's about loving on each other and pouring into each other God's work right. So God's kingdom is built on unity and collaboration.

Speaker 1: 11:25

So we're going to take a look at Mary and Elizabeth, two women with unique callings, yet they celebrated and supported each other. When Mary visited Elizabeth, luke 1 41 tells us that Elizabeth's baby leaped in her womb at the sound of Mary's voice. Sisterhood should make us leap with joy, not shrink in comparison. I'm going to say that again Sisterhood should make us leap with joy, not shrink in comparison. So I'm going to ask this question Are you celebrating the women around you, or are you allowing comparison to steal your joy? So, in a world that often pits women against each other, it's important that we stand together, not apart. We have too much to gain from lifting each other up rather than tearing each other down.

Speaker 1: 12:27

So another woman of the Bible that comes to mind is Deborah. Deborah was a judge. She was a prophetess in the book of Judges. She provides a powerful example of leadership and collaboration. She didn't work alone. She partnered with Barak to lead Israel to victory, proving that great things happen when we support one another. Support one another. I like to hear about Debra, because in this world today, in this world so, I have friends that are podcasters, I have friends that are authors, I have friends that are business owners, that are also life coaches.

Speaker 1: 13:13

And here's the thing we become more victorious or we grow better when we work together, because not everybody is going to receive the message that I give, not everybody's going to like my voice, not everybody's going to like the way I deliver messages Right, and not everybody's going to like my book. Not everybody's going to resonate with my book. But there's other authors and so what we do is you were like you know what? I have a friend that I believe may suit you better. Let me share with you her information. When we can collaborate with one another, that means we can build off of each other, especially in the world of business. There's so much opportunity for everybody. There is enough to go around, so there's no reason why we should be competing with one another.

Speaker 1: 14:08

I love collaborating with people, I love networking, I love going out there and just sharing with people the things that they can do out in the community. I love that we can come together, like, for instance, some of those author friends that I were talking to you about. We are going to host a women's conference and guess what? Those ladies are going to be there, they're going to be able to deliver their messages, and we're working together. All of us have our own businesses, all of us are coaches, all of us are authors, but we get to come together to share a message and build each other up.

Speaker 1: 14:50

I think about a bucket of crabs. When you have a bucket of crabs and one of the crabs is trying to go up, and so they climb on each other, but what is it? What do they do? The crab then pulls down the other crab, and so they can't come out right, instead of putting your hands together and say, okay, step on this, let me raise you up so that you can get out right. That is what we're supposed to be about. We're supposed to be lifting each other up and helping each other continue to move forward.

Speaker 1: 15:19

Another person that I like to read about is Esther. Esther relied on the support of her cousin Mordecai and the prayers of the Jewish people to fulfill her purpose in saving her people. She didn't act alone either. She built upon relationship that gave her strength. What if she had allowed fear or self-doubt to keep her from stepping into her calling, and that happens to a lot of us. We allow for fear and self-doubt to keep us from moving forward. And that's why we need each other, amiga, that's why we need the sisterhood, because when we start feeling a certain way, we need somebody to cheer us on and to give us the encouragement to continue to move forward.

Speaker 1: 16:05

But if you're going to come with somebody and I see this a lot too like you have an idea right, and you can't share your ideas with everybody. I wrote this in my book too. It says you can't share your dreams with everybody. Why? Because book, too, it says you can't share your dreams with everybody. Why? Because not everybody's going to have their, your best interest at heart. Some people are going to. Why do you want to do that? Oh, there's already enough life coaches. Oh, there's a. You know so many people are already out there writing their book or another business. You know like your business isn't going to be successful. We've heard those people before, right? Well, we don't need those people. We need a community that says, yes, you can do it. Why? Because your thing is unique to you, your thing is going to be unique to your audience, your thing is going to be unique for the person who needs to hear it. Okay, and let's just say it's not a business. Maybe it's your career and you're growing.

Speaker 1: 16:55

And people are going to say, oh, look at her, she thinks she's better than everybody. Oh, my God, look at she's now she's been promoted or now she's doing this and stuff. And a lot of times it's those people, it's those women that aren't doing anything. It's oftentimes it's those women that would like to complain rather than do and make those changes. Right, so we can't be those type of people for other mujeres. We need to be able to be that mujer that collaborates with somebody or that relies on the support and encouragement of others. Right, so that we're not afraid, so that we know that we're not going at this alone.

Speaker 1: 17:37

Now contrast that with the woman at the well, and that's in John 4. She was isolated, probably judged by her community, and lacking a strong support system. But guess what happened? Jesus met her where she was and gave her the living water she truly needed. Imagine if she had women in her life who built her up instead of leaving her to fend for herself.

Speaker 1: 18:10

And how many of us have felt like her at times. I know I have. There have been plenty of times that I have felt like the woman at the well, like I was being condemned or like I was being judged or left to defend her own self. I felt that way, and I probably have made others feel that way too. I mean, if we're going to be honest, let's be real, I'm more than sure that I've been guilty of that myself, and so I've.

Speaker 1: 18:42

I mean, she must have felt alone, misunderstood and maybe even unworthy. Right? Can we say that we felt that before. I mean, I know that I have, and I know several women that have felt like that too, that feel alone, and there's a difference between feeling alone and lonely, right Alone, isolated, you know. But loneliness is where you have this longing for company, this longing for community, this longing for wanting someone to validate how you feel and to recognize your efforts. I'm not saying that we have to thrive on other people's recognitions, but sometimes just hearing hey, mariana, you're doing a good job feels so good to me and I'm pretty sure it's probably going to feel so good to somebody else, right? So how can we as mujeres, as women, do better? We can pray for each other, we can encourage one another and seeing each other as allies and not adversaries. When we build relationships rooted in love and trust, we become unstoppable.

Speaker 1: 20:06

Right, the enemy wants division, but God calls us to unity, and we see that a lot in this world. I mean, okay, I don't talk about politics, I don't like to talk, but let's talk about this situation. Right, and we're seeing it right now with the current president, everybody's very vocal and very separated. I mean, I see this even within my own family that they're not talking to each other just because of who they supported. You've got one side who supported Trump, the other side who supported Biden or Harris, and because one president won, now the family isn't talking and they're separated instead of together. And we shouldn't have separation. There should be unity. In spite of what our beliefs are, we should be coming together on the things that we do agree on, because if we focus on what we don't agree on, we're going to be missing out. On a lot, on a lot, we're going to be missing out. So we really need to hone in on that and truly look at how we can come together. How can we be more supportive to one another?

Speaker 1: 21:33

So I'm asking another question Are you building up the women in your life or are you seeing them as competition, and how can you shift your mindset to one of collaboration? Let's think about that for a moment. This episode is proudly sponsored by the Drip Bar Magnolia. If you're looking for a way to boost your energy, immune system and overall wellness, check them out at the Drip Bar Magnolia. They are also the proud sponsor of she's Bold Women Conference happening on May 2nd. Don't forget we're running a special two-for-one sale on tickets over on Eventbrite, so grab your amiga and come join us. Okay, amiga? So let's be real for a second. So we've been real this whole time, but let's get a little bit more real, okay.

Speaker 1: 22:23

How many times have we found ourselves gossiping over cafecito, like sharing details about someone else's life that we had no business discussing? As Hispanic women, we often call it what Chismeando Andamos chismeando and listen. And it's become such a norm, like in the culture of the Hispanic culture. It's just a norm, you know, chismeando con cafecito and listen. I would be lying if I said I wasn't still working on this, because I am. I fall short, I find myself sometimes sucked into the gossiping world, and this is a real struggle and it's something that was ingrained in me since childhood, like I've seen, like I remember seeing my family members. You know just. You know it just happened. But let's go deeper. Why do we do it? Why do we sometimes feel jealous when another woman succeeds? I can admit that in most of those moments it was because I was insecure of myself. I had a big problem with insecurity and sometimes it still lingers Right, and I have felt jealous of other women and, just like I was saying earlier, I had jealousy towards other women, not knowing the real story, and it took me working at an organization to realize that what you see took a lot of work and took a lot of effort.

Speaker 1: 23:51

And I tell people today because I'll have some clients, will tell me like you've got it all together. You look like this, you look like you're well put and I'm like honey. If you would have saw me 20 years ago, I was a hot mess. I was a hot mess. I was looking at someone else the way you're looking at me. I was talking to someone else the way that you're talking to me, because unless you can walk in the shoes that I walked in, then you'll be able to get to where I'm at, and that was a lot of walking, that was a lot of shoes that I had to go through because I was wearing them out.

Speaker 1: 24:28

And who I am today was not the person who I was. This is a person who's evolved over the years, right, and has gained knowledge and has gained understanding, you know, and there's still things that I'm learning. I'm constantly, always trying to learn, always that I'm learning. I'm constantly, always trying to learn always. And so who you see, was not developed overnight. This took years, years to develop, and so that's why I always say we can't be looking at people on the surface. We have to really know them, get to know them, build that relationship with them, ask them. I would rather ask than be curious and create an assumption in my mind. I would rather ask, I would rather someone just share with me their story, because all of us have a story to share. All of us have a story that's going to benefit someone else. Someone needs to hear your story, because you never know who you're going to impact or you never know going to impact you, right, and so seeing women thrive would make me feel small, yes, and I'd ask myself why not me? And when I started to ask myself why not me. Things started to change. So why can't we celebrate instead of hate? And I know I'm not the only one who has felt this.

Speaker 1: 25:57

The bible gives us a clear guidance on this in James 3 16. It warns us for where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. When we allow jealousy to take root, it breeds division, insecurity and even self-sabotage. So let's look at Leah and Rachel. These sisters spent years competing for Jacob's love, driven by jealousy and insecurity. Right, instead of embracing the unique roles God had for them, they allowed rivalry to create strife in their home. And let's not forget Miriam and Moses' sister. In Numbers 12, she and Aaron spoke against moses out of jealousy, questioning his authority, and, as a result, god struck miriam with leprosy, a powerful reminder that gossip and rivalry can have serious consequences.

Speaker 1: 26:56

Now, nowadays, we're not going to get struck by some type of, but you know what? Here's what I'll tell you. The more we create these kind of feelings of hatred, the more it stays on us. And when you become bitter, when you become so insecure, when you become so jealous and the envy is so strong, it takes a toll on our bodies, on our bodies. Sicknesses will happen Heart attacks, anxieties, depression, all of these things because our health is affected by how we feed it, how we react to things, and when we are truly cheerful and joyful and loving to other people, we're going to receive that back. We're going to receive that back and it makes us healthy, because we're receiving goodness inside of us. We're not spewing out this poison, right, and what we want to receive is that goodness, and so we also have to be that for others, right? And so I mean, as we can break this cycle, instead of tearing each other down or pulling each other down like those crabs, let's take a look at what Galatians 6, 2 says to the heart. It says carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Speaker 1: 28:24

So my question to you is have you ever caught yourself comparing or competing with another woman, and how can you shift your heart to celebrate her instead? Right, we love our sisters, but let's be honest as humans, we fail us, and that's why we must remember that God is our ultimate friend. John 15, 15 says I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends. Oh my God, how beautiful is that that the creator of the universe calls us friend. And let's not forget Hagar. She was alone in the wilderness, but God met her there and revealed himself as El Roy, the God who sees her, and he sees you too, in your loneliness, in your disappointments and even in your victories. He is faithful. So have you invited God into your friendships? And how can you lean on him as your ultimate friend? And how can you lean on him as your ultimate friend?

Speaker 1: 29:48

So, before we wrap up, don't forget to join us on Wednesdays at 7.30 pm, central Standard Time, for our Amiga Ready to Read your Bible study group. It's a beautiful time of connection and learning, and there are so many beautiful women that have joined us. And, of course, make sure to grab your she's Bold Women's Conference tickets. Our two-for-one special won't last long. So before we leave, amigas, let me pray us out, because I don't like to end the show without praying for you.

Speaker 1: 30:19

Father, god, thank you for the gift of friendship, thank you for surrounding us with women who sharpen and encourage us, give us wisdom and discernment in our relationship, help us to be women who uplift and collaborate, not compete, and remind us that, even when we feel alone, you are always with us. We trust you as our faithful friend in Jesus name, amen. So, amiga, if this episode blessed you, please take a moment to share it with a friend, leave a review and hit that like button, and let's spread the message of sisterhood and God's love far and wide. Until next time, stay bold, stay faithful and keep walking in your mission. I'll see you next Saturday.

Speaker 1: 31:14

Thank you for tuning in to the Mommy on a Mission podcast. If you found today's episode inspiring, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share it with your amigas. Forget to subscribe, leave a review and share it with your amigas. And, before you go, if you're looking to dive deeper into healing, self-discovery and walking in confidence, be sure to grab a copy of my book Mommy on a Mission a guide towards healing, self-discovery and walking in confidence, available now on Amazon. Stay connected with me on social media. Follow us on Instagram at Mommy on a Mission Podcast and on Facebook at Mommy on a Mission. If you're considering working with a coach, but aren't sure if you're ready, send me a DM and I will send you a free gift to help you get started on your journey. Until next Saturday, keep shining and remember the power is within you. Adios, amigas.