MAMI Let’s Talk: Menopause, Faith & Finding Strength

Mariana shares her raw, personal journey through perimenopause, detailing the physical and emotional changes affecting her body, energy levels, and relationships. She offers biblical perspectives and practical wisdom for women navigating this challenging transition while maintaining their identity and purpose.

• Gained 53 pounds over the past decade despite being in peak physical condition at age 40
• Experienced multiple health challenges including heart surgery and an ischemic aneurysm
• Dealing with classic perimenopause symptoms including hot flashes, night sweats, and fatigue
• Struggling with parenting younger children with decreased energy levels
• Using therapy to process emotions and gain tools for this transition
• Addressing intimacy challenges in marriage caused by hormonal changes
• Finding God's wisdom and purpose in this season through scripture
• Importance of community and open conversation with other women
• Journaling prompts to reflect on identity, relationships, and purpose during menopause

If you're ready to walk through this season with support and guidance, I'd love to invite you into my Empower Her 12-week coaching program. It's a space for women to rediscover their identity, rebuild confidence and align their lives with God's purpose. Enrollment is reopening soon - the link is in the show notes.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Mommy on a Mission
• 4:43 My Health Journey and Weight Struggles
• 5:41 Heart Issues and Perimenopause Symptoms
• 7:19 Parenting Through Energy Changes
• 9:46 Therapy and Mental Health
• 12:28 Intimacy Challenges in Menopause
• 15:16 Finding God's Wisdom in This Season
• 20:27 Journaling Prompts for Reflection
• 22:47 Closing Thoughts and Resources

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

Welcome to the Mommy on a Mission podcast. I'm Mariana, your host and the number one bestselling author of Mommy on a Mission a guide towards healing self-discovery and walking in confidence. As a dedicated life coach, wife, mom yaya and, most importantly, daughter of the king, I am passionate about empowering multifaceted women just like you. In each episode, we dive deep into transformative topics that help you reignite your passion and purpose. My unique approach is designed to help you overcome the fear of external expectations and create the space and time you need for both increased job satisfaction and personal growth. Join me on this journey of self-discovery and empowerment as we explore practical strategies, inspiring stories and actionable insights. Together, we'll navigate the complexities of life and emerge stronger, more confident and truly aligned with our deepest desires. Welcome to the Mom in a Mission podcast, your go-to resource for living a more purposeful and fulfilling life. So grab your Tazza cafe y vamos a platicar. Like I've been feeling through changes, the biggest one that I've been going through has been. The biggest one that I've been going through has been my weight gain. Right, because it's like over the past 10 years I gained about 53 pounds, no joke, and before my 50th birthday I was dedicated, you know, and so I did. You know. I ended up, you know, getting on the terzapatide shot to lose the weight because I wanted to look good for my 50th birthday. Y'all Because if y'all would have seen me at my 40th birthday and some of you did, when I turned 40, I was like in the best shape ever, even from my teens, even from my 20s. At the age of 40, I was at my healthiest weight. I was running, I was eating, right, I think, my thyroid was still working. I mean, everything was good. I mean I was a dedicated runner and I had run what? Six half marathons.

Speaker 1: 2:20

And then I noticed that I started to slow up a bit and one of the causes of me having my hysterectomy at 45 was right after my son was born. So I had my son at 39. I was able to lose the weight very quickly and I think I owe that to breastfeeding, that to breastfeeding, and I just remember, oh, I ended up getting that. Oh, my God, what is it called? It was a new form of birth control and it goes on your ovaries to prevent birth control. I can't even think of it right now because I think I just blocked it out of my mind, but anyways, and it turns out that that was causing a lot of problems to women. And when I think of the name I'll let you know, but right now I cannot for the life of me remember the name of that birth control. And anyways, it was heightening up my depression. It was cause I felt like I was being, you know, I was slowing down more, it was just a lot that was going on, and so it was myself and another friend of mine. It was like we were experiencing the same thing, and so I ended up getting the hysterectomy at 45 and removing that thing and so, but the only way to remove it was to have a hysterectomy, which was fine because I wasn't planning on having any more kids. I already had five, so I didn't need any more children.

Speaker 1: 3:51

But then I just started noticing, slowly but surely, how, you know, the weight gain started back up, I wasn't exercising anymore and along the way I was also experiencing other health issues. It turns out that I had gone for a physical and during that time of going through that physical, they did an EKG and they were doing stress testing, all of these things, and it turns out that I had been living with a heart murmur that over time, did not ever get better. So a lot of us are born with heart murmurs, but they, over time, as you get older, they start to close up. Well, mine never did, which is crazy, because I had five children, I had run these half marathons, I've always been active and no doctor had ever detected that I had a heart murmur until I had that EKG done, and so I was referred over to a cardiologist. They did the bubble test, and then it turns out that I needed to have surgery done, and so they ended up helping me seal up that heart murmur up, and so that was one. Then depression started kicking in even more. So all of this was going on. Then it turns out I ended up getting an ischemic aneurysm, so this was right before Christmas, and so I ended up going to the hospital having these MRIs done.

Speaker 1: 5:25

I'm on all kinds of medication, anyways, all of this to say that my body's been going through some changes. I mean like some drastic changes, and when the perimenopause started, it's like everything shifted into overdrive. At first the changes were, you know, subtle low energy, restlessness, feelings of anxiety, and then the depression. But then came the hot flashes and, girl, if you know, you know, that is like a fire that rises from inside, and no matter how cold the AC is, it does not help. And then the night sweats, waking up drenched, I mean y'all. I was taking a shower before I went to bed, waking up as if I were sitting in a sauna all night long. I mean just drenched and exhausted. Drenched before the day even began. I mean it's crazy, y'all. And the changes are not pretty, they're frustrating.

Speaker 1: 6:34

And, yes, sometimes I even find myself saying thanks, eve, for disobeying God. Now look what I have to go through. I mean, come on, let's be real. How many of y'all have said that? Right? But I also know that God has something to say about this season in our lives, and so one of the biggest challenges has been my family.

Speaker 1: 6:56

So, again, like I said, I have five children 32, 26, 24, 16, and 12. And with my older three, when they were young, I had all of the energy in the world. I could keep up with them, juggle life and still manage. I mean, I was running and gunning and I couldn't even be stopped. But with my two youngest, that's different. I was getting tired more easily. I would get short with them. When I don't mean to. I'm trying to help them understand what mom was going through, and it ain't easy. My 12 year old doesn't get menopause, I mean perimenopause, I mean he's like I don't even know what you're talking about and, honestly, that hurts sometimes because I want to show up with the same energy I had before, but my body just won't let me.

Speaker 1: 7:43

Now don't get me wrong, because with my older kids I brought them up old school style, which wasn't good, and when I say old school, I mean I was born in the 70s, so you get it. How you know, parenting was back in the late 70s and 80s, even in the early 90s. Right, there was no such thing as allowing your children to speak or listening to them. It was. You do, as you're told. Right, children are to be seen, not heard, which is dumb. It's dumb, but that's how I was brought up and so it took some time before I understood. So this mama here was young, she was only practicing what she had learned and stuff.

Speaker 1: 8:30

And as I got older, of course, as I started to heal and I started to address some issues in my life, I learned that that was not the way to go, and you know. So I find myself once again, you know, back, I go to therapy, you know, and I've always said I always said I'm a big time advocate for therapy. Matter of fact, I'm going through therapy right now because, as many of you know, this is my writing season right now, and I'm currently writing my next book, which is called when Healing Hurts. And I find myself in this season that I'm, you know, having to go back through therapy. You know talking through exhaustion, the irritability and how it's impacting not just me but my family.

Speaker 1: 9:17

And for me, therapy has been a space to process, to obtain tools that I need and remind myself that seeking help is not weakness, it's strength, and many of us don't understand that. We think, still to this day, there are so many individuals that feel like going to therapy is something to be embarrassed about, and it's truly not. It's nothing to be embarrassed about to go to therapy, because we need to find that space in order for us to be able to speak about what is going on with us, to be able to speak about what is going on with us, and I think, through this time of menopause, a lot of things have been surfacing up, especially right now that I'm writing this book, because it's going to talk a lot about how over time I've gone through therapy and how I've been healing from certain things and how some things are going to resurface back up again and I'm realizing that I still have triggers. And then when you mix that in with menopause, it ain't helping. You know I'm still struggling with that weight. So for those of you if you are ever on that shot you know I was on terzepatide, there's people on Zepbound, some people are on Ozempic. Once you get off of it, guess what the weight's going to come back. If you don't address how to properly maintain your weight, if you don't go to the gym, if you're not eating right, guess what that weight's going to come back in. And I'm telling y'all because I'm sitting right here and I've gained back 30 of those 50 that I've lost, and so I'm struggling and I don't like the way that I look, I don't like the way that I feel. And I know before some of y'all, you know, tell me you know, girl, you look good. I never said I was ugly, I just said that I don't feel good in my body because this is not the body that I am accustomed to, and so I am having a hard time accepting that, and I know that as a life coach. We talk a lot about accepting yourself for who you are. Yes, but at the same time we also have to work on things about ourselves that we don't like. Right, and so we can't just, you know, say, oh well, you have to accept for yourself, for how you are. You're still beautiful and stuff. Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 11:34

But there's also things when you have lived a certain kind of way or when you had a physical body for many years that you were accustomed to, trying to get accustomed to. You know, when you're overweight, it comes with a lot. It comes with heightened depression, it comes with heightened anxiety, it comes with lethargy, it comes with exhaustion, and that's what I don't like, and I know that I need to go out and do something about it. But y'all, that energy level is low, it's low, and so not only does it affect the energy, but it also affects the intimacy with my husband, because y'all and I know so, if y'all have small children around and y'all are listening to this, I'm going to be talking about some things here, so you may want to have the kids refrain from being in the room, because we're going to be real. You know it brings vaginal dryness, low sex drive, all the things we don't love talking about. But let's be honest, it's real issues.

Speaker 1: 12:44

It's real things that are happening, you know, and I struggle because I still feel like I want to have. You know, during the day, when there are short periods during the day, when I do have that energy that you know I do, I want to go out and I want to go get my husband and I just want to, you know, get it on with him. But the minute I get home I'm tired. By the time night falls, I'm exhausted. Did I get home? I'm tired? By the time night falls, I'm exhausted. And then, trying to get me aroused, it's not like it was before the hysterectomy, before the menopause. You know I'm having to. We have to buy the creams, the gels because it's a dryness and it hurts. And so you know, and many of us still want that intimacy with our husbands.

Speaker 1: 13:33

And biblically we know it's important because in 1 Corinthians 7, paul talks about not withholding from one another. But when our bodies are working against us and our husbands don't fully understand what's happening, intimacy can feel like a struggle instead of a gift. And then trying to explain this to our husbands. It is not easy. Sometimes they just don't get it, and sometimes our frustration comes out wrong because we're already tired and irritable and then, little by little, it can cause tension in the marriage, tension in the marriage.

Speaker 1: 14:18

But here's the truth Intimacy is more than physical. It's also emotional, spiritual, relational. We can lean into prayer, closeness, communication and even small gestures of love. And, yes, we can pray for God to give us wisdom and strength in this part of our marriages too, because he cares about every detail, even our hormones. And so let's see what God is saying about all of this.

Speaker 1: 14:48

So in Proverbs 16, 31, he reminds us that gray hair is a crown of splendor. It is attained in the way of righteousness. And then he goes off to say, in Isaiah 46, 4, says even to your old age and gray hairs, I am he. I am he who still, who, will sustain you. So God doesn't see this as a season of loss, but a season of wisdom and glory. And he promises to carry us even here, even now. Isn't that just amazing? Because he knew. He knew we were going to go through all of these things. He knew that, as women, we were going to be challenged with these things, but it's all the process of getting older with these things.

Speaker 1: 15:35

But it's all the process of getting older and, yes, we don't like it, because in our minds we still see ourselves as young, like our mind has not caught up with the physical feeling of our bodies, although we can change that. In a way, we can still change that if we become more active. The problem is is how do we do that when we feel tired? And so I mean we need to go speak to our doctors. We need to let them know what's going on and you know, before you say anything, doctors are going to talk to you and, yes, they're going to try to prescribe, but there's also doctors that do believe in natural types of I don't want to call them medication, but natural types of remedies to help you through that process.

Speaker 1: 16:19

Right Now, some of us may have to be on certain kind of medication, but let's just remember, you know, that God also equips doctors, right? He also equips them. He also can speak to them. So we want to make sure that we're listening and we try the things that are going to help us feel better, and so we do have to make some changes, especially for us women. I mean our vitamin D gets low so we have to up the supplements on vitamin D, we have to go get our checkups done. I mean all of the things that we do and y'all.

Speaker 1: 16:49

I'm not just speaking to you. I'm not just speaking to you, I'm speaking to myself as well. I'm not just talking to you and telling you you need to get up and start exercising. I'm telling myself because that's what I'm struggling with, just like you're struggling, I'm struggling too. This is my season. This is where I'm at right now, struggling with this menopause hot as heck, just tired all the time. So what do we do? Well, here's what's been helping me Give yourself grace. This is a new season. It's not a punishment, so be, treat yourself well. You know, don't put too much pressure on yourself. You know, and don't be mean to yourself. Give yourself grace. Allow yourself to kind of come into this new season. Talk openly with your spouse, with your kids. Even if it's not perfect, still talk. And if you need to seek out friends, seek support, therapy, friends, community. Don't do this alone.

Speaker 1: 17:51

One of the great things that I've noticed is because a lot of my classmates are, you know, the ladies. We're all going through this and we can laugh about it because we're all going through it, and so I know that it's not a solo mission, that this is something that has been very common. The thing about it is, or the problem about it is, is that many moons ago, women did not come together and talk about these things. Now we are and we can offer each other support. We can share what's been working, what's not been working. You know what's been helpful, what are you taking, what supplements are you using?

Speaker 1: 18:25

All of the things and that is what's helpful is when we can all come together and talk about these things and know that we're not by ourselves, and then also stay rooted in God's word. Let his promises be louder than your frustrations Because, trust me, god is there. He is there for all of it. For every season in our life, god is there, and I know that this season can feel like we're fighting to hold on to who we are Menopause, hysterectomy, recovery, parenting young kids with less energy, intimacy, struggles, the inability that sneaks in. It's a lot. It's a lot, and here's what I want you to remember, and here's what I want you to remember you are still you, you are still loved, you are still chosen, and even now, god is carrying you and shaping you into a wiser and stronger woman. So remember that, and if you're ready to walk through this season with support and guidance, I'd love to invite you into my Empower Her 12-week coaching program. It's a space for women to rediscover their identity, rebuild confidence and align their lives with God's purpose. So enrollment is still open. As a matter of fact, no enrollment will reopen and the link is right there in the show notes. So I'd love for you to join us and walk this journey together. So, once again, the enrollment is going to reopen because we're going to have another session coming up right now. We're currently beginning this cohort and so I'm going to be reopening, but if you want more information, again, the link is going to be in the show notes. Now I want you to take some time to reflect.

Speaker 1: 20:27

I'm a big time believer in journaling. I have been journaling more lately as I've been going through therapy again as I'm writing my book. There's a lot of things that I journal throughout the day so that I can incorporate in my book. So I'm going to encourage you to do the same. So, as you're listening to this, grab yourself a journal and I want you to reflect on these things right here In what ways have these changes affected how I see myself as a woman?

Speaker 1: 20:59

So you're asking yourself this in what ways have these changes affected how I see myself as a woman? The next one how can I invite God into my struggles with exhaustion, intimacy or irritability? Number three what do I wish my spouse, my partner, my friends or even my children better understood about this season in my life? And then, number four where do I need to show myself more grace instead of self-criticism? Because, let's face this, a lot of times, we are our own worst critic, right? So where do I need to show myself more grace instead of self-criticism? And then, how might God be using this season to draw me deeper into, I'm sorry, how might God be using this season to draw me into deeper wisdom and purpose? So how might God be using this season to draw me deeper into, draw me into deeper wisdom and purpose?

Speaker 1: 22:23

I'm unable to talk right now. So those are the things that I want you to be able to, you know, ponder on, okay, and I want you to just kind of like, write it down and just, you know, see where God speaks to you in this. And so, amiga, I just want to say thank you so much for spending this time with me this morning, because, again, it's a subject matter that we don't often talk about, that we need to, and I just want you to know that you're not walking this journey alone, so we can do all of this together. You know, I want you to be transparent with me, just like I'm being transparent with you, and talk to me and let me know how it's been going with you. You know, what suggestions do you have for me? You know, what can I take, what can I use? What are you using that's working for you? That perhaps may work for me as well, because I'd like to try it.

Speaker 1: 23:32

I'd like to get more energy. I'd like to have that motivation to go walking and running and do all of those things again, because I know that I can. I don't want to rely on terzapatide. I don't want to rely on that shot, not if I don't have my mind right, like if I'm getting to a point where I'm eating healthy and I'm starting to do that and then I want a little bit of help. I will do it. Listen, I'm going to be honest with you. I want to cheat a little bit when it comes to that, you know. So don't get mad at me or anything, but quite honestly, I'd rather work hard for it, because I know that when you work on it, it's a longer lasting feeling, no matter what it is, anything that we do. That's why, again, you know, when we're healing or when we're working on changes, you know we can't just take a magic pill or we can't just get a shot and say, oh, everything is great, right, because it's not so. We really need to do the hard work and I'm going to be right there with you. But anyways, I just want to say thank you for spending this time with me.

Speaker 1: 24:38

If you think that this episode could benefit a friend, invite her to listen. You know, subscribe to this. Go to my website, mommyonamissioncom. Again, it's going to be in the show notes. Follow me on Instagram, on Facebook, I'm even on TikTok, and y'all really. You know, look up into the Empower Her 12-week coaching program because, trust me, it is a program that I feel that would be so helpful and beneficial for you.

Speaker 1: 25:12

So okay, amiga, I've talked enough today. I know you're probably saying, okay, girl, end it up, but anyways, I want to say thank you once again and I will see you next Saturday on the Mommy on a Mission podcast. Thank you for tuning in to the Mommy on a Mission podcast. If you found today's episode inspiring, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share it with your amigas. And, before you go, if you're looking to dive deeper into healing, self-discovery and walking in confidence, be sure to grab a copy of my book, mommy on a Mission a guide towards healing, self-discovery and walking in confidence, available now on Amazon. Stay connected with me on social media. Follow us on Instagram at Mommy on a Mission Podcast, and on Facebook at Mommy on a Mission. If you're considering working with a coach but aren't sure if you're ready, send me a DM and I will send you a free gift to help you get started on your journey. Until next Saturday, keep shining and remember the tower is within you. Adios, amigas.