Your Approval Can’t Pay My Bills, But God’s Love Covers Everything

Ever feel like you’re auditioning for love? We go straight at approval addiction—how it starts, how it quietly runs our lives, and how to break free by anchoring worth in God rather than in other people’s opinions. Through honest storytelling and a faith-forward lens, we trace the roots of people pleasing back to conditional love and abandonment, then map a path toward healing that restores identity, peace, and purpose.

We unpack the everyday signs of approval addiction—constant reassurance seeking, saying yes while depleted, shrinking your voice to avoid conflict—and connect them to the deeper fear of rejection. From there, we walk through the turning point: trading performance for presence by leaning on scripture. John 5:41 reframes the need for validation, Psalms 139:14 affirms design and dignity, Jeremiah 31:3 declares enduring love, John 15:16 names calling, and Galatians 1:10 challenges us to live for an audience of one. These verses aren’t slogans; they become daily anchors to replace lie-based scripts with truth.

You’ll hear practical tools to move from burnout to freedom: pausing before you say yes, setting boundaries without guilt, and using grounded affirmations to retrain your inner narrative. We also share reflection prompts to help you spot where approval is steering your choices and how to realign with purpose. Along the way, we invite you into community for accountability and growth, because lasting change takes support and steady practice.

If this message meets you where you are, pass it along to a friend who needs it too. Subscribe for more faith-centered conversations, leave a review to help others find the show, and connect with us on socials to keep the work going together. Your worth isn’t up for public vote—let’s live like it.

Chapters

• 0:00 Naming Approval Addiction
• 0:24 Community Invites And Coaching Announcements
• 1:35 Show Intro And Mission
• 2:50 Scripture Lens For Approval
• 3:40 Defining Approval Addiction
• 4:15 Signs You Might Be People Pleasing
• 4:57 Personal Spiral And Consequences
• 6:15 Childhood Roots And Patterns
• 6:59 The Cost To Identity And Peace
• 7:59 Turning Point And Return To God
• 8:56 Replacing Lies With Scripture Truth
• 10:23 Living For An Audience Of One
• 11:40 Owning The Past And Finding Freedom
• 13:15 Encouragement For Listeners In Struggle
• 14:24 Reflection Prompts And Affirmations
• 15:53 Closing Blessing And Share Request
• 16:35 Reviews, Book, And Social CTA

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Amiga, have you ever found yourself changing who you are just to make someone else happy? Maybe you said yes when your heart was screaming no, or you've poured yourself out just to feel seen. I've been there too. And I know how exhausting that cycle can be. Today we're talking about something many of us struggle with, but rarely name out loud: approval addiction. And before we dive in, I want to personally invite you to join the Facebook community, Amiga's Rooted in Christ, and Fueled by Coffee. It's a safe space for a faith-filled woman who are ready for prayer, Bible study, and honest conversation. You'll find the link in the show notes. And if you're craving a deeper walk with God, join our Wednesday night group, Amiga Ready to Read Your Bible, at 7:30 p.m. Central Standard Time on Zoom. We're reading the Bible cover to cover together. It's powerful, it's intimate, and it's real. Also, stay tuned because the Empower Her Black Friday special is almost here. It's the perfect time to enroll in the Empower Her 12-week coaching program starting January 4th, 2026. This new cohort theme is the Empower Her makeover because the best makeovers aren't the ones on the outside, but the ones that happen deep in your heart, in your mindset, and in your faith. So grab your cafecito, your notepad, and let's talk. Welcome to the Mommy on a Mission Podcast. I'm Mariana, your host and the number one best-selling author of Mommy on a Mission, a guide towards healing, self-discovery, and walking in confidence. As a dedicated life coach, wife, mom, yaya, and most importantly, daughter of the king, I am passionate about empowering multi-positive women just like you. In each episode, we dive deep into transformative topics that help you read that your passion and design that help you overcome the fear of eternal expectation. You need promote personal growth. Join me on this journey of self-discovery and together we'll navigate the complex space of life and our stronger, more confident, and truly aligned with our deepest desires. Welcome to the Mommy and the Mission Podcast, your go-to resource for living a more purposeful and fulfilling life. So grab your tasa cafe and vamos a platicar. John 5, 41 says, Your approval means nothing to me. When I first read that, I felt like God was highlighting a part of my story I hadn't fully healed from. Because for so long, Amiga, I couldn't say that verse honestly. I did care about people's approval so much that I let it shape my choices, my confidence, and my sense of worth. We live in a world where likes, follows, and validations can feel like oxygen. But Jesus reminded me through that verse that our worth, that our worth isn't up for public vote. It's already sealed in heaven. So today we're going to talk about what approval addiction really is, what it looks like, and how it shows up in our lives, and how to break free from it through God's truth. Let's define it in simple terms. Approval addiction happens when you set when your sense of worth depends on someone else's validation. It's that psychological and emotional dependency where you feel good only if others approve of you. It often comes from a deep fear of rejection or criticism. So instead of feeling secure in who we are, we adjust, perform, and people please, hoping someone will finally say, You're enough. Here are some signs you might relate to. You're constantly looking for reassurance or compliments to feel okay. You have trouble saying no even when you're exhausted. You find yourself apologizing for things that aren't your fault. You hide parts of yourself because you're afraid people won't like the real you. You change your opinion just to avoid conflict. And maybe you struggle to make decisions because you worry what others will think. If you're nodding your head right now, amiga, know this. There's nothing wrong with you. You're human. But it's time to recognize when approval has become a form of bondage. For years, I lived this out. I remember chasing approval so hard that I started making choices that caused more harm than good. I lied, I stole, I developed a prideful attitude and tried to control every narrative, all because I wanted to feel seen, loved, and validated. My approval addiction didn't come from wanting material things, it came from abandonment. I was trying to fill a void with attention. I wanted my parents' approval. I wanted partners to see me. I wanted friends to like me. And the sad part, I would tolerate mistreatment just to keep that sense of connection. It became a pattern. One I didn't even realize had roots in my childhood. Growing up in an environment where love felt conditional based on performance or behavior taught me that worth had to be earned. So as an adult, I carried that same belief into relationships, jobs, and friendships. But amiga, people pleasing comes with a price. The more I tried to be what others wanted, the more I lost myself. And that's what approval addiction does. It steals authenticity. When you depend on others to validate you, it leads to a fragile sense of self. You start second-guessing everything. You say yes when you mean no. And boy, have I done that more often than not. You carry anxiety and guilt when you try to rest. You burn out trying to prove your worth. And the saddest part, you lose sight of who you are. I know because I did. I wore masks to fit into every room until one day I didn't even recognize the woman in the mirror. And for me, the breaking point came when I almost lost the people who mattered most, my children. That's when I realized the approval I was chasing was destroying the very things I loved. And that's when I turned to God. As I began reading scripture and joining Bible studies, such as the ones that I mentioned in the last series, I mean in the last episode with Beth Moore, Joyce Meyer, and through Celebrate Recovery, something shifted. I started to see that I didn't need to earn validation. God had already given it to me. The more I studied his word, the more I unlearned the lies. I'm not enough. Because Psalms 139-14 tells me I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Which is something that my ex-husband used to tell me all the time that no one was ever gonna love me, no one was ever gonna want me because I had three children and I was already twice divorced. But Jeremiah 31, 3 reminded me, I am loved with an everlasting love. I have to prove my worth. Again, that was something that I would hear all the time. That unless I proved myself, unless I did things to prove my love or to prove that I was worth it, that I was going to feel it, or that I was going to receive it. But John 15, 16 said, I am chosen and appointed by God. It wasn't easy letting go of old beliefs because it takes time, just like losing weight, that took years to gain, but little by little I learned to live for an audience of one. Galatians 1.10 became my daily my daily check-in. Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God? Whoa. That probably just fell on you like a bucket of cold water, right? Are you trying to win the approval of people or of God? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. And Amiga, that verse reminds me daily that I don't need to audition for love. I just need to abide in it. When Jesus said your approval means nothing to me, he wasn't being prideful. He was walking in purpose. And that's what we need to be doing. We need to be walking in purpose. We need to understand that approval from anyone doesn't mean anything. But when it comes from God, when God seals the deal for you, it doesn't even matter anymore. I have this saying that I use all the time or that I say all the time, and it's there's nothing anyone could say about me that I haven't already said about myself. What that means is that I know that I've done wrong. I know that I've lied. I know that I went to jail. I know that I almost went to prison. I know that I was on probation. I know that I cheated on my very first husband. I know that I got cheated on. I know that I had sex before marriage. I know that I've had abortions. I know all of these things about myself, and I am not afraid to tell people because I'm not the only one. And because I've already given it to God, and because the enemy can no longer use those things against me. He knew his mission. Jesus knew his mission, and he knew his father's love. I know that perhaps that life that I once lived, now I can speak to others and I can tell others, hey, it's okay. It's okay, everything is gonna be okay because you know what? God loves you no matter what. As long as you repent from what you've done and you decide that you no longer want to live that life, and that you no longer you and and want to receive what other people see for yourself or me see sees you for, or you know, that you need someone else's approval, you don't need that anymore. Because God already loves you, and that's where true freedom begins. When you stop performing and start living from a place of peace. Today, I can honestly honestly say that with my love language, which is still words of affirmation, I no longer depend on them for identity. Compliments are nice, and I love receiving them and I accept them, but they no longer define me. I know not everyone will like me, I know not everyone will support me, and that's okay. Because I'm not called to everyone, I'm called to those God assigns to me, including you, amiga. I don't think it's a mistake that you're sitting here right now listening to this because maybe this message is for you. Maybe you're struggling with addiction, I mean approval addiction. Maybe you're struggling, wanting to find validation for who you are, maybe wanting someone's approval for who what you do and what you say or how you act or or any of those things. Maybe that's you. Well, I'm here to tell you, I mean, I've been right where you are. Because for a long time that's where I stood. God sees you, He hears you, He loves you, and you don't need to earn His approval, it's already yours. I no longer need to earn it. God has already given it to me. So I want you to take a deep breath and think about this. Whose approval have you been chasing lately? What fears keep you from showing up as your authentic self? And what truth from God's word do you need to believe today? And let's replace the lies together. Repeat after me. I am approved by God. I am loved without conditions, I am chosen with purpose, I am free from the need for validation. And I want you to hold on to that truth this week. Amiga, I hope this message helps you to step closer into your true identity, amplifying your confidence not only in yourself, but in who you are in Christ. You don't need to perform for love, you don't need to prove your worth. You just need to walk in the truth of who God says you are. And if this episode spoke to your heart, share it with someone else who may need this reminder. Subscribe to Mommy on a Mission Podcast and kindly leave a review. It helps this ministry reach more women who need healing and hope. And don't forget our Empower Her 12-week coaching program begins January 4th, 2026. Keep an eye out for our Black Friday Empower Her makeover special in your inbox and on social media. It's the perfect way to start your year renewed in faith, purpose, and confidence. And it's also a good way to start working on letting go of the addiction for approval. And until next time, Amiga, remember, you are loved, you are chosen, and you are on a mission. I'll see you next Saturday. Thank you for tuning in to the Mommy on a Mission podcast. If you found today's episode inspiring, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with your amigos. And before you go, if you're looking to dive deeper into healing, self-discovery, and walking in confidence, be sure to grab a copy of my book, Mommy on a Mission, a guide for healing, self-discovery, and walking in confidence, available now on Amazon. Stay connected with me on social media, follow us on Instagram at Mommy on the Mission Podcast and on Facebook at Mommy on the Mission. If you're considering working with a coach but aren't sure, if you're ready, send me a DM and I will send you a free gift to help you get started on your journey. Until next Saturday, keep shining and remember the power is within you. Adios amigas.